Monkey Wars at the Bioparc!


Because we splurged for the Valencia Bioparc’s yearly pass, the Entrada Berde, we’ve been back to the zoo frequently. And every time, there’s something new to see. Yes, the €20 entry may be prohibitively expensive for tourists, but if you live in Valencia, we really recommend the €40 yearly pass. It’s a bargain.


We went again this week and saw the group of chimpanzees, for the first time. They’d always been sleeping on our previous visits, but this time the whole family was up and about. Goofy Baby was hugging onto Hanging-Tits Granny, and Mommy was keeping a close eye on Dad, who, it turns out, is a bastard.

A small stream separates the chimps’ area from that of the gorillas, and soon a massive, beautiful lowland gorilla came out to enjoy the sun. Apparently, Bastard Dad don’t like no gorillas, because he took Jürgen and I completely by surprise by howling and launching sticks, dirt and rocks at the giant ape. It was insane, and I can confidently report that chimpanzees are not good throwers. Not a single of the projectiles came within a few meters of the gorilla, who stoically weathered the abuse, sitting Indian style and paying absolutely no attention to the troublemakers on the other side.

It was great fun to watch, though I kind of wonder why the chimps hate the gorilla so much. They left us completely alone, and we were definitely within stick-hurling range. The zen-like gorilla was awesome, and the next time Juergen squeals or throws clumps of shit at me because I need to blog more often, I will follow his example.

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